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A Kugelblitz

Throughout my life I’ve struggled with ways to vent. I grew up being told that energy should always be positive, or at least as far was the perception other people held of me. So if angry or upset it was selfish and childish for me to show such feelings outwardly and I should repress them and switch on a stash of positive emotions that I had stored for just such an event. The people who imposed these regulations, be it my mother or her peers or teachers at school were themselves people who did not adhere to such rules. They would lash out and make no attempt to disguise their unhappiness or anger if provoked beyond what they felt to be a boundary of tolerance. The justification for them losing their shit was that it wasn’t their fault. A myriad set of reasons and excuses were always forthcoming, usually something along the lines of “you don’t know how hard I work in my job” or “you shouldn’t have been being stupid”. The era I grew up in was the 1970s and 1980s. I class my adulthood

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